Vent

I’ve been looking at all my pictures I’ve been tagged in Facebook and I look so happy but I’m not. I have done so many wonderful things but haven’t been able to enjoy them. I’ve been offered many opportunities, but most of them I decided to not do… all because I let my insecurities get to me. In every picture I can recall why I was upset and what I was struggling with. And a lot of it was stupid things. All my life I’ve struggled with accepting who I was and caring too much and hating how I looked and who I was and how people thought of me. I was such a great person with so many goals and inspirations but I let my insecurities get the best of me. And my largest one was my appearance and body. I hated myself in that way. And it made me such a sad person and held me back from a lot - childhood, happiness, self love, friends, sports… I’m looking at my pictures and I can actually see I was a very good looking girl. Not to be like arrogant. But at the time I thought I was the ugliest piece of shit ever, worth nothing that was never good enough and never would be. I can’t believe I’ve lived so many years unhappy when I had so much potential to do so many great things. It’s really sad. All that time, just totally wasted.